I’ve got a lot of homework to do. That’s normal. In fact, I really shouldn’t even be writing this.
But I’ve got some things I want to say.
First and foremost, I just want to thank the Lord for getting my life back on track. For this entire school year, but this quarter in particular, I’ve been struggling with anxiety. Major, major anxiety.
At the beginning of last week, I finally took steps to help solve the problem.
I confided in trusted friends (and my boyfriend) who were all more than supportive. I talked to my Bible study leader and discipler to start working through some solutions. But most importantly, I took it to God.
After a few torturous days, I finally laid it all before God. I was lying in bed, just in total despair at what my mental life was becoming. Then out of nowhere, I just began praying. Up until that point, praying felt like talking to a wall. It didn’t feel organic, it didn’t feel real. But this was different. This time, I felt that God was legitimately listening, and that He legitimately cared.
A huge weight had been lifted.
I’m still struggling with this, but I keep laying it before the Lord, and He keeps pulling through for me, as He always has and always will.
The reassurance that I am loved by someone greater than myself means everything.
It is everything.
What happens when you bring together 70 students from Ohio University’s Campus Crusade for Christ movement and put them in Panama City Beach, FL? Craziness, that’s what! But not your typical spring break craziness. We had some major craziness for God. Craziness for Christ!
When we got on the bus on Peden Stadium last Friday to begin our 16-hour journey, I knew I’d come home with some good stories and maybe a tan. I had no idea how much I’d be changed internally.
But I’ll get to that.
We stayed in condos at the Edgewater Beach Resort. I stayed with 5 amazing women. Between me, Emily, Sarah, Elaine, Jennifer and Rebecca, there was never a dull moment, especially when moments involved the life preserver we found.
It ended up in both showers, behind a curtain, all of our beds, in the oven, in the fridge, in the freezer, in the washer, in the dryer, and the grill. The object of the game was when you found it, you had to hide it somewhere else. Epic.
We had creative dates.
The first night of the dates, the boys (Joe, Kyle, Pete, Brett, Adam and Patrick) set up a tour for us on our way to their condo, and then served us a wonderful meal with smoothies for dessert, and then acted out Snow White. To give you an idea of the amazingness of the story, Patrick was all 7 dwarves. It was hilarious!
The second night, we cooked Kreg, Ian, Chris, Edison, Zac, and Hiram chicken kabobs and ice cream sandwiches. Then we put them in the “hot seat,” where everyone got to ask them whatever questions they wanted. We got some interesting responses.
Wednesday night, we had praise and worship on the beach, which was one of my favorite parts of the entire trip. Everyone was just so genuine with their worship and sharing their experiences from the week, and the entire thing was just such an encouragement!
Hot-tubbing also ensued.
But I suppose now I should go into what I gained from this past week.
Evangelism on the beach was fantastic. The first day, I didn’t do any of the talking, but I got to witness someone accept Christ into their life, which was the encouragement I needed to keep on going for the rest of the week. Later on in the week, I had the opportunity to initiate two spiritual conversations and go through the Knowing God Personally booklet with some girls. No one prayed to accept Christ, but they listened to me go through the entire booklet with them.
I know the Holy Spirit was in me during those conversations because when I’ve gone through the KGP with my discipler, Kacey, during our discipleship time, I’ve stumbled and struggled through it. But when I was on the beach, I didn’t stumble even once. Everything just flowed and I had the answers to their questions. I thank God so much for giving me the words to say, and I am so encouraged to go out even here at OU so that I can let people know of His glory!
Roger Hershey was the main speaker for our evening meetings, and one of his talks focused on yielding our rights. God created us; therefore, what right do we have to anything? Jesus yielded his. He could have summoned legions of angels to take him down from the cross—but he didn’t. He gave up that right so that we might have life. It is the point of our lives to be more like Christ. Philippians 2:5-8 says, “Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death—even death on a cross!”
What those verses are saying is that Jesus, who was God in the flesh, humbled himself to the point of death for us. And since He is our Lord and Master, who are we to demand anything? Everything we have is a gift from God. Everything.
I took so much away from this week, and I will forever thank Jesus my Lord and Savior for the opportunity that I had!
“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.” -Galatians 2:20
This verse defines my life. For the past year, it is how I have been striving to live.
Exactly one year ago today, on February 26, 2009, I was born again in Christ. The year that has gone by between now and then has been a whirlwind of change, and though it’s been tough, I legitimately can’t remember a time in my life where I was happier.
My lifestyle has changed. Things I used to desire have been put on the backburner of my life, some of which I will never even consider again. I still struggle with some things, but I look to more than just other people for support. I look to God. And when things are too hard to even look to Him, I’ve got a support network that will help me do just that.
I have people in my life who I never would have met had it not been for us having Christ in common. I thank God constantly for them.
I’ve gotten into the habit of reading my Bible nearly every day, which is something I never did before. I’m trying to cut cussing out of my life. I make an effort to avoid alcohol.
In hindsight, all of these things make me realize that I’m not the same person who I was a year ago.
Before, I was walking through life by myself, for myself.
Now I’m walking with Jesus.
Hello, blogosphere. It’s been awhile. And it’s late.
I suppose that not blogging is kind of my fault, considering I had time to write at the beginning of the quarter, and then midterms happened. And now here we are.
The quarter began wonderfully. I was still so completely on fire for God after IndyCC, and everything in my life was going great! Then, the second weekend of the quarter, Campus Crusade for Christ had its annual Leadership Retreat, where I got some great insight on discipleship from Roger Hershey. It really inspired me to spread the Gospel to those who I know aren’t Christians, which is always a good thing. And I got some great fellowship time with my friends.
The whole weekend was made funnier (but not necessarily better) by the fact that while I was gone and my roommate was not in the room, a squirrel came in through our open window. And chewed up my sweetener box. And ate my Nutella.
Proof:
The rest of January carried on as usual.
Then, at the beginning of February, it was almost like my life blew up around me. I had a presentation, a paper and a midterm. I was working two staffs at The Post. And I had stuff to do for Crusade. It felt like God was just on the sidelines of my life, observing. It wasn’t fun.
But after having a couple conversations with trusted friends, I realized that He was there. The way I was feeling was His way of telling me I was taking on too much. I was encouraged to quit of one my staffs at The Post, which I did. I am no longer a writer. Just a copy editor, because that truly is my passion. I also realized that I don’t necessarily want to be a traditional journalist. God’s working on my life, and I’ve just got to wait and see what perfect plans He has for me.
On that note, this quarter has also brought some wonderful people into my life. I have been privileged to meet Emily and Sarah, two great Christian women who I’ve had the chance to become friends with. I am so grateful that God has put them in my life!
Also, I had the most amazing Valentine’s Day ever, complete with flowers!
And you can thank a wonderful guy for those! Kreg is truly a blessing in my life, and I pray that God leads our relationship wherever He wants it to go!
Aaaaand that’s my winter quarter so far in a nutshell! Hopefully I’ll have a chance to be on here more often in the future.
It’s still late. And now I’m tired. So off to bed I go!
And here we are again, with Winter Quarter underway. I’ve already got a good bit of homework, which I’m not so inclined to do. I’m sleepy. And I’m planning on going to work out later, so why bother with homework?
But I kid myself.
I’ll get it done. I can’t not do it.
It’s just hard to get started again coming off what was arguably the best week of my 19 years.
I went to Indy Christmas Conference in Indianapolis, IN, with the Campus Crusade for Christ group here at OU. And it was FANTASTIC! I feel like I grew exponentially in my faith, and I definitely left happier than I had been when I arrived. To give you a sampling of the week, here’s a few pictures.
By far the best week ever. Just sayin’.
I’m just hoping that the joy and happiness I found at IndyCC can be carried through to the rest of the quarter, and the rest of my life.
Christmas post!
I felt it necessary to post with my thoughts of Christmas and how they have developed, especially because this is the first time that Christmas has actually meant something to me—something that is more than presents.
Granted, I’ve always known that Christmas meant the birth of Jesus. But Jesus was just another person to me. Since I went to church growing up, I knew that He was sent to save us. But I never understood what that meant. Not until February 26, 2009. It was in October 2008 that I first felt Jesus tug at my heart. I had been extended an invitation to go to 180, Ohio University’s meeting of Campus Crusade for Christ. I went. And I went to every meeting after that. I knew that it would be a good thing if I did, even if it wasn’t a huge part of my life. But then in late January, I finally accepted an offer to go to Bible study (there had been several invitations, but I never went). It was then a few weeks later that I saw Lifehouse’s “Everything” skit at 180. That definitely got the brain wheels turning. I wondered about this stuff for a week, and had several deep conversations with one of my closest friends (one of the ones who had originally invited me to 180). It was at that fateful 180 meeting, when the praise band was singing “Mighty to Save,” that I accepted Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior. It was these lines that did the trick:
“So take me as You find me, all of my fears and failures, fill my life again. I give my life to follow everything I believe in, now I surrender.”
At that, I sat down and started crying. I was crying because I suddenly felt a warmth and comfort that I had never experienced before. It was the best feeling in the world, and I felt like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. This absolutely fantastic feeling lasted for more than two weeks, and ever since then, though I’ve definitely experienced some spiritual lows, I have been the happiest I’ve been my entire life, and through Him, I’ve established friendships with people that I know will last eternally.
And now I turn back to Christmas. To think of Christmas as when Jesus, my Savior, my Messiah, my Redeemer, was born, is just mind-boggling. That this little baby would make me the happiest I’ve ever been. That this little baby would make me turn my life around and follow Him. That this little baby is the reason that I have eternal life. It blows my mind!
I don’t even have words to describe it! The fact that He is born and will eventually save all of us from our sins and give us a reason to live and spread His word is enough to make me want to dance around and shout for joy!
This is the first time I’ve reflected on the meaning of Christmas for what it really is. My heart is light, my spirit is free. And I am happy. Happier than I’ve ever been.
“Celebrate and sing Hallelujah; raise the banner, dance and rejoice! Celebrate the birth of Messiah! He’s the King of Kings, the Lord of all!” ~Michael W. Smith, “Christmas Angels”
It’s all kinda cool, isn’t it? Merry Christmas!
Well guys, I’ve got a comment feature up and running! The program I used is DISQUS, and it seems like it’ll work pretty well. So….comment away!
I like reunions. Especially when they involve good friends. This past weekend, my friend Rachel came from Pittsburgh for a visit. And the timing was just perfect, because this was just when my friend Hanna was getting in from visiting her grandpa in California. So, we pretty much hung out the entire weekend.
Friday: We explored uptown Westerville and drank AMAZING candy cane hot chocolate. We also colored pictures and named the octopuses in the picture. If you’re ever at Serendipity in Westerville, look above the door on your way out. Those are our pictures.
Friday night: We went to see the Christmas lights at the Columbus Zoo. They were pretty gorgeous.
So are we.
There was also an interesting exchange involving walruses and feet. The conclusion was that walruses don’t have any.
Then Hanna bought a moose.
He came with us everywhere.
And that’s that evening in a nutshell.
Saturday we met up with our friend Ellen for lunch at La Chatelaine in Worthington, and our friend Adam joined us because he was in town for a wedding. It was a lot of fun!
Then we went off to Half-Price Books and Easton Towne Center for some shopping! And even though it took nearly 20 minutes to find a parking space and the only thing we ended up buying were smoothies, it was still a really fun, quality trip! Especially when it ended with Wendy’s for dinner and just hanging out at Hanna’s house!
Definitely a quality weekend with quality people. Definitely living it up in technicolor. I seriously can’t wait for IndyCC in two weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know that New Year’s is still a few weeks, but since I am currently on Ohio University’s eternal winter break, I started thinking about resolutions a bit earlier than is normally done. Now, I typically don’t do resolutions. I don’t ever stick to them. But I feel that in 2010, I’ll actually be able to do it. Because these resolutions aren’t your typical “I’m going to work out three times a week.” They involve me making some shifts in my lifestyle and in the way I think about things. Which I think will end up being for the better. So, here goes.
1) Become more organized. I know where everything is. But half the time, it’s on the floor or somewhere in the bottomless pit of papers that is my desk. I’m terrified that I’ll lose something. The only way to fix this problem is to become more organized in every aspect of my life. Not OCD organized. Just enough so that I won’t lose anything and my clothes don’t end up in one big pile.
2) Stop feeling jealous of other people so easily. When I’m at OU, I attend Central Avenue United Methodist Church. The message from one sermon has stuck with me more than most. Paul Risler, the pastor, said to look where you have overlooked God’s goodness for your life because you were looking at someone else’s life. Basically, when something happens to someone else, what is that to you? Even if it’s something you want, what is that to you? What bearing does that have to your life? I know that God has a plan for my life and there’s nothing I can do that can change that fact. I’m relying on God to show me the goodness that’s in store for my life, because why should I be worried about other people when I’ve got my own life to live? After all, that sermon also taught me that comparison is the thief of joy. This year, I’m going to focus on God’s plan for me, and not worry about the things other people have.
3) Fight the feelings of loneliness This past quarter, I struggled with loneliness. A lot. It took a lot of time and several conversations with trusted friends, but I worked through it. What’s funny is that I felt most alone when I was surrounded by people all the time. Now that I’m at home (with limited social interaction), I feel so much more whole. I don’t know if it’s because of the familiarity of home or what, but I feel so much more complete. My theory is that because I’ve had a lot more time to spend with God and building my relationship with Him, He fills me up and I don’t feel alone. I like the way it feels and I hope to keep it that way.
4) Read my Bible daily This is something I slack off on. If I’ve got other things to do, like homework, those other things always take precedence. That’s going to change this upcoming quarter, and for every quarter to come, and for the rest of my life. At least I’m going to try.
5) Work out at least three times a week Hey, I had to throw it in here. And it’s kind of true. I think I worked out maybe ten times last quarter, which is not nearly enough. And I probably won’t keep this resolution. There’s no way I’ll make it to Ping three times a week (unless someone wants to hold me accountable). But if I make it a resolution, at least I might try to do it.
And there you have it. My New Year’s resolutions. They might change a bit. But probably not. I’ve given these a lot of thought and all of these are things that I’d really like to change in my life. So, bring on 2010 and let’s see if I can do it!
God should bring snow to Columbus. See the quote below.